The gym was closed on Monday, which means fun for Darling and I! We started the day by going to Seoul Garden for a meal of our life. We ate a lot and had so much fun cooking the stuff. It was worth the money too since we were students and had a discount. Oh ya, we were the first ones at the restaurant. Haha! All the freshness ready for us. We're definitely going back there again, this time with a few more friends.
Chilled around Marina Square for a little while before going to Suntec for a movie, Failure To Launch. We bought the special sofa seats for couples which is situated at the back of the cinema. We didn't really pay attention to the show....
The romance came. We walked to the Esplanade and went all the way to the part where we could sit by the waves. Darling told me some beautiful stuff. I was touched, very touched. I actually cried. Thank You, Darling. Those were very assuring words you said. I wonder whether I'm assuring you enough, but I'll try my best to do better. The rings we threw into the waves, symbolizes my true love for you. You're like my first love. I've never experience more love than this. I truely love you, Baby. I'm perservering to be the best man for you. It's not gonna be an easy ride but I'll be there. I'll make it. There is no chance in hell I'm giving up on you, Baby, so don't give up on me. I appreciate your patience. I will not let you down!
I woke up at 10.30am because some stupid drilling came on. And well before that, there were phone calls and smses coming in. ARGH! I don't seem to get a good rest nowadays. Have been sleeping late and down with a flu. Too bad, couldn't get back to sleep. So I woke up to play my darling piano. Was on it for quite a while.
Left house at 1.30pm to go for basketball training. I was still feeling groggy and sick. I have to go. If not, that fat ass is gonna hate me period and I'll never get to play in the youth cup. It's my last year. Many people don't understand why I'm doing this, it's not that I'm obsessed. It's my passion.
I reached the court early and I wore my shoes. I thought I would die or collapse today so I told Baby that I love her before I started playing.
My shooting was alright today. My team actually won the shooting game. First team of 4 to shoot 50 three pointers wins. I scored the most. Shooting is a relaxing motion. Although there may be stress to make sure the ball goes in, I take it as a chance for me to be in my own world and push every out of my mind. Relax in the air and release the ball at the apex of my jump. It's a wonderful feeling to shoot beyond the arc.
We then played some 5 on 5 after that. Won some and lost some. It was finally 5pm and I could leave. Guess what? I'm alive! Told you I won't die. Far from it.
Didn't get to meet Darling today. Yup, same old reason - The Father. Well, can't blame Darling. Can't blame the Daddy too actually, it ain't his fault that he's stuck in the mud. Sometimes I think he's testing our patience, but sometimes he's just trying to be too much.
In the bible, God did not object to teenagers having a relationship with each other. And I backed it up by asking my mom about it. I asked her too, if God himself doesn't object to it, what makes humans think that they can object to it? I really don't wish to voice my opinion out like that or make Darling dislike her dad or something, but there are things I have to get off my chest. If a relationship is benefitting one's daughter in terms of physical health and academic terms, why would one disallow his or her child to be in that relationship? And why would one want his or her daughter to go look around and know more guys when his or her daughter has already found the one? Eighteen years of age, four months of love and still counting, is it that easy to find another one like that? All the fishes in the sea are different, but how in thee blue hell are you gonna find another fish similar or even better than this one? I have got lots of questions to ask and countless answers to find out. God, please fill me in on this kind of behavior. Before you do, I can never understand why this is happening?
Baby, I hope you don't feel that I'm pulling your arm. I had to find someone to tell my feelings to so I wrote it out in a blog entry. Sorry if I did offend you with what I've just said.
I love You very much, Sweetheart. I really thought that I was gonna collaspe during training today. I was afraid that I would never wake up. I had thoughts about not playing because I wanna spend my life with you. But I told myself, I have the will to live on till the day we marry each other. Go through shit, go through piss, I will still be standing tall, ready to accept you in my arms. I just love you so, my Dear.
I miss you....
Went to gym in the morning with Baby. Had second thoughts about going as I had difficulty breathing but didn't want to disappoint Darling. It went quite well. Took deep breaths after each set.
Woke up late at about 1pm. Called up Jiaying as I thought she was already on the way. Turns out that she's still asleep. Alfian, still asleep. Phew. Thought they would come over and catch me without my underwear on. So I got up quickly and got ready. They were still late so I chilled with the piano for a little.
It's 12.05am now and I find myself sleepless. Thoughts fill up my mind whenever I close my eyes. And I don't see pitch blackness when I shut my eyelids, I see images. My mind seems restless as I hear voices. The voices come in large numbers and high volumes.
Woke up a little late today because of a silly arguement with Darling last night. Really didn't have to happen. So Dad gave me a lift to the MRT station. I reached the driving centre early so I sat down and waited for class to start.
It's Da Gu's birthday today. So I bought her some flowers after piano class. No one was at home so I slacked all day long. So bored and lonely. Darling was clearing her room. So I called up a few friends to talk to. Talked for about 5 minutes and I went to play some games. Then got ready to go out.
And I thougt it was supposed to be fun. Woke up kinda late so I had to rush and take a cab. But there was no cab on the road so I had to call one. Man, just to get to a boring class and I was early. It was confusing what to do since it was my first lesson.
Signed up for driving today. It was very complicating. The stupid girl talked so fast that Dad and I didn't get s single shit she was saying. Haha. Anyway, after much discussion, we managed to get it done.
Clock's passed 12. I'm 18. Legal. Free, kinda. Gonna drive. No parental signature for magazine appearances. I'm gonna make it big. I'm doing this for fun but expect a tough fight. Nope, not jealous of Michael. Just wanna beat him. Gonna be better looking, more talented, stronger than he is. Healthy competition wont hurt.
Was so tempted to laze on the bed the entire morning but there was no way I could do that. It's gonna be a fun day today!!!!
Was very very sleepy today. Had only about 2 hours of sleep after that stupid event.
I can't believe that I could be so insensitive and ignorant about people's feelings. I always thought that I was different from all the other guys. I just realized that I'm far from special. How could I played wth a thing called trust without knowing how badly my fingers would be burnt? The pictures may be similar but so what?
Instructions: The tagged victims have to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover. Specify the gender of the target. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment on their page saying they've been tagged. If tagged the second time, there's no need to post again. Gender: Female Perfect Lover Point 1 - Love, affection, Care, Concern Perfect Lover Point 2 - Trust Perfect Lover Point 3 - Faithfullness
Started the day late as I slept like a log, refusing to wake up. Chatted a little with Darling before getting ready for basketball training. Reached the court at 3pm and got a scolding from coach. He was the first one to reach the court. Apparently I forgot to be 15mins early. Well, I deserved the scolding.
Did you ever watch that show I Not Stupid Too? How touching and influencing it is? How damaging strict and stuck in the mud parents are? How much pain the children are going through? How you sometimes wish that parents could just open their eyes and look at the modern world? How you wish that time would fly pass and be freed from this prison? And Ultimately... How you wish you could tell them how you feel?
It's been a few days after my transformation and I'm living it happily. Nothing made me lost my temper, including being abused on the court. Life is great because I'm a better person now. Life is so much happier once you don't get bothered by things that do not affect you in a big way. It is true. Patience is a bliss. Thank You, Darling, for teaching me all these.
Dear Lord, I want to thank thee for letting me know Sam Sherlyn. It is a big blessing that Thou has given to me. She means everything to me. She is an Angel in disguise. I love You, Lord, for blessing me with her. I just can't thank You enough, Lord.
Time spent with Darling was a short one today. Discussed about Jiaying. There's nothing going on between us. Just friends. Talk about her trying to snatch me away, not gonna happen. I can tell if she every tries. Jiaying, if you're reading this, please don't feel offended of awkward. Girls, like men, get jealous too. Please understand, you're my great pal.
Went for the basic theory evaluation today. I was silly so I sped throught questions and passed in 5 minutes, little did I realize that I was allowed 35 minutes. How silly.
Missed Darling already. Went home to play a little piano. Well, it was not really a little piano. Played on it for one and a half hours straight. Fingers went numb after trying to master a particular song.
The flu is kinda bad. I hope I won't die during training tomorrow afternoon. Freakin' sleepy now..RUNWAY scheduled at 1:09 AM
Jiaying seems to gets a lot of Mom's attention. Is it because she loves to act adorable? Heh! Jiaying, don't get pissed. My Mom doesn't really pay that much attention to a female friend of mine. Anyway, Sherlyn gets all the good stuff from my Mom. But Jiaying is super pally with my Mom, man.
Chilled a while at home before going to have lunch with Dad. Mom paid for Jiaying's meal today. We ate fishball soup. Stupid nose kept on running. I'm freakin' sick man. Met Alfian outside KFC after that and we went to Mac to chill a little while.
Went home to eat Mom's fishhead curry. Shit, couldn't eat so much as I'm sick. Gonna play ball soon. Walked to the bus stop together and I was off.
They already started playing by the time I reached there. Haven't touched the ball for a little while. Kinda missed it. Well, got to play already. Started off playing a 5 on 5. I was freakin' handicapped. The strong dudes went over to the other team and I was left with nothing much. And I was freakin' sick. So we lost.
Played some 3 on 3 after that. Dominated on some plays. Seems like it's still in me. However, my nose was running like tap as I played. It was disgusting.
Went home at about 9.15pm and took a bath before playing the piano for a long while. Practiced a few songs. My fingers were tired and my brain couldn't take in anymore. So I stopped to chat with Darling.
It's been a lonely day...RUNWAY scheduled at 11:21 PM
It seems like I'm bothered, irritated or agitated over something. Well, the voices, images and thoughts all come down to one thing, or one person. That's my baby, Sherlyn.
It is definitely not irritation or anger. It's something that has got no exact definition. Ask people on the streets and you'll get millions of different answers. Whatever the answers are, there's a common factor in each and every one of them - the power to change. Makes you weak, makes you strong too. Such a complex factor affecting me but yet so simple as it's made up of only 4 letters. That's LOVE.
What has love done for me? The results are countless. I'm no longer the same person as I was before 21 November 2005. Changes for the better are appearing day by day. The old Gerald is vanishing away slowly, making space for the new me.
Love is about tolerance. I will never be patient to the one I don't love. Scream at me, insult me, be childish, say silly things, I'll never lose my temper on my love. Sherlyn is the only one whom I'll tolerant no matter what the situation is. She is that amazing. Baby girl, please do not put my patience to the limit. I love you lots!
I'm simply obsessed over you. I can't seem to get my mind of you. Being apart from you makes my heart ache and the seconds add up to how dearly I've missed you. Thinking about you sometimes bring tears to my eyes. These tears of joy flow down my cheeks as I reflect on how fortunate I am to have known you and have you by my side.
Darling, I hope you feel the same way too.
This is the only place I can express my feelings in the form of words, when no one is around or when there's nobody for me to talk to. I'm a mushy person, I guess this is the only place I can show it.
Like I said, love has got no exact definitation. It is complicated. But Darling, let me make it simple for you. When I say I love you, what I mean is you're everything to me.RUNWAY scheduled at 12:04 AM
It was another boring class but I've learnt something about treasuring your life. Rushed to Jurong Point to meet Darling. I was very moody in the beginning as I was freakin' tired. But it got better.
Had my haircut today. Every time the sissors snapped, my heart sunk a mile deeper. But afterall, it was a nice hair cut. Short, decent, more gentlemenly yet with the little punk attitude in it. Should get it colored though.
After eating LGS for lunch, Dearie went crazy. She laughed from the entrance of the shopping mall till the doorstep of my room. She laughs at the stupid things I say and I bet she was laughing at my face too, stupid girl.
Went for gym training today. Darling tried a new exercise for the hamstring muscles. Should be seeing some improvement in the weeks to come.
Don't give up, Darling. I love you!RUNWAY scheduled at 12:24 AM
My hair was freakin' cool today. Met Da Gu and made our way to Great World City to have diner at Jack's Place... again. Saw a very nice pair of shoes and pants from Zara. Both were white in color. Simply fell in love with them. But well, the price was lovely too. So I guess I won't be getting anything from there. Sucks going up in a family that is SOOOOOO conservative about spending money on clothing. Well, pros and cons.
Had dinner. I was freakin' full. Had mixed grill. But I'm kinda sick of Jack's Place. Should be a long time before I'm gonna eat there again. Anyway I have a member card done just now. One free meal.
Walked around with Colleen after dinner. Talked a while and we went to look at some clothes. She said the Zara stuff wasn't worth it. It made me feel better about not buying it after all. Bought Dearie's birthday present too. I saw the Anna Sui's Secret Wish. Smells great. But it's freakin' expensive. No worries, I'll go for prostitution to get money to buy it. Dearie, you better not get it on your own or get somebody to get it. I'm working my ass off to get it for you.
Well, although Baby's not gonna get her Anna Sui, I hope she likes what I bought. Contemplated so much on buying it. Guess I'll have to keep my fingers crossed and find out on the 7th of May.RUNWAY scheduled at 11:37 PM
Lessons were okay actually. The teacher was kinda funny. But the irritating thing was that there were many late people coming in and it's disrupting the lessons. My dad is paying for me to watch these people come in and sit down without saying sorry. Oh well, as least I learnt a few things today.
Realized last minute that there was no basketball training. So I played in the sun with Jack. It was so hot. My head hurts when I play in hot weather. Sucks man.
Made my way home and took a shower before meeting Darling. She cooked dinner for me and I didn't expect it to be......
SO FREAKIN' GOOD!!!!
There was egg! Crabsticks! Prawns! And this very special soup that has got chicken, potato, carrots and some onions! The rice was too much for me to finish but I bet if there wasmore food, I'll finish up the rice. She made some fresh fruit juice too! Very sweet! I really didn't expect my Baby to cook that well.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I've found the perfect woman. Will be sending out invitations in a few years time and please remember the red packets. Make sure they're big too because you'll be expecting good dishes.
Darling and I then went to have a walk and talk about stuff. It was a romantic night for us. Kissing under the moonlight...
Apparently, the kitchen lights in Darling's house was suppose to be offed but it was on. So I went into the house to check whether some pervert was in there or not. Seems clear. As I was walking out of the house, Baby's sister walked in and made some stupi comment that Darling and I were doing funny things in the house. Stupid bitch can't control her mouth. Oh well, she'll get her payback one day.
Reached home to work out the abs and the waist. Freakin' tiring day. Gonna sleep soon.
Oh ya. Managed to talk to Tillyson. I guess making friends out of enemies ain't that hard....RUNWAY scheduled at 1:24 AM
Drove Dad's car for a while at Farber Gardens. I was kinda scared. Feels weird driving a car for the first time. However, it does feel like a video game. Except in this one, there's no restart button.
Met Darling at about 330pm and spent some precious moments together.
It's been a long day and I'm tired. Currently waiting for Dearie's call. My eyes are closing. Zzz....RUNWAY scheduled at 11:23 PM
Waited for Darling to come over. Played my PS2 for a little while. As usual I played NBA. Finished like 2 matches. One lost one won. I then surfed the net a while. Mom and Dad came back from their movie. So romantic. Finally made them watch a movie together. My Mom was definitely happy.
Another hour later, Sherlyn arrived. We went up to the house and Mom taught us how to make sheperd's pie. Not that hard. Gonna make it for Darling's Dad. Every little effort adds a drop of satisfaction he has in me. I hope....
Reach the pit at about 645pm. So sad that Nick couldn't make it. He heard wrongly, so he ended up at eastcoast. Oh well... So I started the fire. Found that I'm not bad at it. Eddison was the first one there. Then more people came. Ziting, Jiaying and their boys. It was a small but fun party. Lots of laughter. But I guess I had to start all the talking before anything happened. Usually don't like it when that happens. Shy people sometimes turn me off. But it was a cool party.
Walked Baby home then went home with Jiaying. Her boyfriend went off at Jurong East. So the two of us catched up about what's happening in our relationships. Told her my stuff and she told me hers. Seems like her relationship is kicking off to a great start. Many things to tell her. But I guess we'll leave it for tomorrow while Baby goes out with that Michael. Coffee at Starbucks always get the stories started.
Results were out. Baby and I didn't do too badly. Still had out GPAs above 3. So relieved that her Dad didn't make noise. Thank You, God. Thank You for keeping him quiet. Thank You for taing stress away from Baby and I. Man, I feel so sarcastic....
Well.. I'M EIGHTEEN!RUNWAY scheduled at 1:30 AM
Worked on the hair then went to the closet. Outfit for the day - Black tank top, jeans and my white VC 4! Cool eh? Dad gave me a lift to the station.
First stop was Jack's Place. The meal was fabulous. I had T-Bone Steak and Darling had the Ribeye. Really enjoyed my lunch. It's been DONKEY AGES since I've been to Jack's place. And then, my day was made. Darling gave a super surprizing surprize. She made me close my eyes and I heard the tune of Smoke Gets In Your Eyes. Turned around and there it was. I don't know what it's really called. But I'll call it a MINI PIANO! I love it SOOOO much! Thank You for making my Birthday Eve a great one, Sweetheart. I love you!!!! I can't seem to stop playing with my Mini Piano. Just love it so much.
It's shopping time!!!!! We went to Watson's to spend Dearie's gift vouchers. Bought a big bunch of masks for myself. Looks like I'm getting a facial tonight. =D Bought exfoliating wash too. There was an offer. After Watson's, the Body Shop. Dearie took a while to decide what to buy. Haha. So I looked around and saw this hair wax made from natural stuff. I'm gonna get it after my haircut! After a while, Dearie got what she wanted. Some face stuff. Now it's my turn to shop! Muahhahahaa. Walked around Wisma but found nothing interesting. It was after a while when we stepped into TopMan. And I fell in love with this top. Got it for 69 bucks. Very worth it. It's gonna be my birthday! Why can't I spoil myself for today? Haha!
Walked around a little while more then went for our show at Cineleasure: Date Movie! The show was kinda lame in the beginning and after a while, it got better! Haha. Learnt something about love in this movie too. Waiting for the girl for so long. Admire his patience. Yes, love is about patience. Patience no matter what the situation is. It was a comedy by the way. Not some lovey dovey show. Haha!
Straight after the movie, we went for our favourite. XIAO LONG PAO & PORK CHOP LA MIAN!!!! I tried the pork and prawn dumpling. Ok ok. Didn't wanna try it in the beginning and now I'm in love with it. Laugh all you want. Haha! It wasn't very filling but it was enough for me. Had a nice time at the restaurant.
We then made our way to the Esplanade to to eat chocolate strawberries and chill at the rooftop. We chatted for a while about gaining her parents' respect then I played with her hair. Haha! I bet she almost feel asleep. We left the rooftop at about 855pm and made our way home.
Darling, it's been a great day for me. So much crap we've gone through and I guess the prize is handsome, we're closer and more loving now.
No way I'm gonna walk away from you, Darling. No way I'm gonna change for the worse. No way I'll ever stop loving you. Take this as child's talk and regret in the future. Because this kid means business when he says...
I LOVE SHERLYN!RUNWAY scheduled at 12:34 AM
Met Darling at 315pm for Prata. MY FAVOURITE! Had 3 cheese pratas and Darling had 1 mushroom cheese and one banana. Weird combination. Haha. But must have tasted good. She finished everything!
We were melting while waiting for the bus so we decided to give up and take a cab. Reached home and had some very precious moments together. Played with Darling's hair again. She loved it and soon feel asleep. So I went outside to play my PS2! Nets versus Magic. Lost by 3 though. Sad.
Darling woke up at about 6pm and we played the piano together for a while before heading to the gym. Wow. I was impressed by Sweetheart's performance today. Everytime I finish a set to look at her, she'll be doing some exercise. It looked like she was working nonstop! Big improvement, Darling. I'm sure that I can see improvements to your body too!
By the way, gave Darling her giant piggy today. Saw the smile on her face, made me smile too...
I love you, Sweetheart.RUNWAY scheduled at 2:15 AM
A fool. A huge one. And I thought I was smart. Streetsmart. Turned out I was one big dumbass.
Why am I so stubborn? Why do I have to be paranoid? Sherlyn won't cheat on me. A bad habit nesting in my brain refusing to get out of me. Like a monster. Look at what it has done. Spoiled a good day for prata and gym. I've ruined everything. Why didn't I think it would happen this way? Guess I'm smart. But not smart enough. What is up with me? An IQ of 114 cannot think of such horrible circumstances? I should be ashamed of myself. An ignorant fool.
Paranoid freak, look at what you've done.
The next time I think of being paranoid, I guess it's time to tell myself I'm thinking nonsense. Worthless crap circulating in my head stopping the flow of thoughts that contain the consequences. That's it. Get rid of all the worthless thoughts. In that way, the consequences can enter my head like a drilling bullet. Let it slap myself awake, get on with my life. Stop this paranoid shit! Think about making life difficult for myself.
The past. Nothing much to talk about. Not completely forgotten, but it's valueable lessons still remain clear in my head. And this new lesson will soon be added to the archives. The rest is complete junk. Nothing special. Everything done with Sherlyn feels better than the past. The first kiss with Sherlyn, felt that she was the first I ever kissed. While my past is filled with sluts and bitches, holding Sherlyn's hand feels like I've never loved anyone before. No one has to be jealous of my past. The present is far more pleasant and how I wish I could change the past and make it like the present. But what's done been done. No use dreading over it. I'm happy for the present. No way I'm gonna let the past affect me!
I'm sorry, Darling. That was really something stupid I did. I've thought of an idea to curb my paranoid self. It's gonna be hard but I'm confident I can do it.
Please forgive me, Baby. I've thought over it. And I've thought over it thoroughly. I don't have to elaborate on that but it did take a while.
I trust you, I really do. Please accept it. I don't mean to spoil the prata. But what's done been done. All I ask is your forgiveness. Please.RUNWAY scheduled at 5:03 AM
Has to LOVE me for who I am. Show me AFFECTION when I need it. CARE for me with sincere CONCERN.
Has to TRUST me in whatever I do. Trust that I will remain faithful to her and take my promises to heart
Has to be FAITHFUL and loyal to me. Guess it's kinda straight forward
Behind every successful man is a SUPPORTIVE woman.
Perfect Lover Point 5 - Forgiving
Forgive and forget. I will never cheat on her.
Perfect Lover Point 6 - Respect my parents
I love Mom and Dad. And I respect them. She has to respect them too.
Perfect Lover Point 7 - Fillial to parents
Simple
Perfect Lover Point 8 - Independant
Have a stable job and income. In the future.
Hey, wait a minute.....
Why am I writing this? Sherlyn's already there!
I love you, Baby! You are more than these 8 points!!!!!RUNWAY scheduled at 2:41 AM
Played a few 3 on 3 matches and I accidentally elbowed a guy in the face. Felt so guilty. He seemed so pissed off with me. I offered water and tissue but he rejected. Well, up to him. It's not gonna affect my day.
Soon the adults were there and we played some 5 on 5. It was tough for us young players. They were much expirienced than we were. So we got a trashing. But I guess we put on a good fight. I scored quite a few points.
There was once I was completely opened. Wanted to yell for the pass and the words came out,"Sherlyn! Pass!" It was embarassing. No matter anyway, got the ball and scored.
Coach got a few moves by me. Tried to stop me on a fast break but I pushed him off the court.
Was getting ready to go home when I got a phone call from Dearie. She was allowed to go out and wanted to catch a movie with me. I was delighted. My gloomy face put on a smile all the sudden. So I rushed home to get changed. But was still late that I had to take a cab to Jurong Point.
We ate black pepper beef for dinner. I met Stephanie from church during dinner. Said Hi and talked a while. Introduced Darling to her too. She's in NYP and I just knew that. Been in school for so long and didn't manage to see her.
Dearie and I then went for our show - Big MaMa's House 2. It wasn't as funny as I thought but I still enjoyed myself. Every moment spent with Sweetheart is always enjoyable. I sent Darling home after the show and she lied on my shoulder for a while then on my lap. She loves having her hair played with. So I did. And I watched her sleep like a baby. I looked into her eyes and I felt the love. I was simply amazed by her. I then lied on her a little while and she played with my hair too. I felt loved. No wonder she likes me to play with her hair.
It's getting late now. Gotta sleep early and wake up for piano tomorrow.
I love You, Honey.RUNWAY scheduled at 1:55 AM
Sweetheart is going through this turmoil. This cancer-like situation eating into her like nobody's business. Tears flow freely. A big dilemma between me and her parents. How she wishes that she can be torn into two. One for me, one for her parents. What a big mess...
Love means sacrifice. I guess what we have to sacrifice now is our publicity and some times together. Combine these two and I see that we have a solution. Noise and complains from her father is still expected though. But however, sometimes one shouldn't be so selfish. Sweetheart has already sacrificed so many well-planned days with me to show her father that she's at home. A daughter so filial is simply rare in Singapore nowadays. He has to wake up one day and realize how happy Baby is with me.
Talk about limiting your choices, is it that easy to find another fish in the sea? Yea, lots of fishes in the ocean. How do you find a better one? Is it that easy? If it's that easy, all the couples in world can forget about marriage. Go find better fishes since it's that easy. Everybody can die single. YAY! Stupid idea. Darling, I'm not a bad boyfriend right? Well, PaPa just has to open up his eyes and take a good look at me. Use a magnifying glass and look. I'm not trying to talk like a big shot here but he'll have to face it.
Grades, grades, grades. Why is he obsessed with it? Yea, I know he's worried for baby's future but COME ON! Two words: COME ON! Does Sherlyn look like she's not studying? Oh please, how much crap we have gone through to make sure we walk into the examination hall calmly and confidently. Well, let's look at the bright side. Results wil be out next Thursday. Baby's gonna get a few As. COME ON! It's As not Fs! What's up with the freakin' distinction? If Baby were to break up with me do you think she'll be getting her freakin' distinctions? Look at the previous semester. Her results are already very good. In my point of view, in my mom's point of view, literally anyone's point of view.
I thought that I could never write an arguementative essay. What do you think, Darling? Are my arguements good?
Do not fear, Darling. For I am here. I may not be superman, but my love and support is superhuman. I'll hand your hand tight and get through all the crap together. I'm so glad we found a solution. At least you'll still be the happy Sherlyn I always know.
I will get my driving's license after the first time pass. I will maintain my results. I will get my diploma in sport and wellness management. I will enter NS and leave NS the same old Gerald still so loving to Sherlyn. I will get a degree in marketing, WITH HONORS! I will make it big. Ultimately, prove it to your PaPa and MaMa. I know I can do it as you love is fueling me with more power than crude oil can give me.
Darling, you must do the same. You must continue to work hard! You have my support, my love, my care and concern.
Making you happy is one of the biggest accomplishments in my life. I never thought I could make a girl this happy. You are my pride.
I love you, Sweetheart. And I want you to know that I love you with all my heart...
PS: Girl ah, alrite to be mushy here rite? nobody read one mahx lol!. if u find this entry a bit offensive must tell me hor. i will del one. u must be slping now.like one pig like that. ahahaRUNWAY scheduled at 2:01 PM
The photoshoot with Yew Kwang Photography was a great one. I didn't expect so much fun and such good results. I found that modeling was for me. What a great interest I have found. However I must learn to curb it so that it will not be an obsession like basketball. I haven learnt to curb my basketball habits. It is basketball now, not Basketball. Notice the difference?
My smile was a little fake in the beginning but it got better as the day progressed. YK taught me a few poses and how to expess myself infront of the camera. He said to be myself and feel natural. I then became myself and my true self that day was a happy person. Had trouble concentrating on flexing the muscles but with YK's patience, I was able to come up with beautiful pictures.
Sweetheart was simply great. She was a natural at poses but she did need some help with smiling. So I tickled her a little and her smile was there. They were natural smiles and she was beautiful. Her individual shots were great too. In her set in which she wore a black dress, I was simply hypnotised by her beauty. Luckily, I managed to concentrate on helping her smile naturally.
Our couple shots were the best. I had the most fun then. While looking at the pics to view our progress, I was reminded of how compatible we are. Sherlyn's the one for me and no one is gonna replace her. I felt the love while we posed. Pictures do paint a thousand words. The pictures explain a lot about us. Loving, caring, committed.
Although pictures paint a thousand words, my love for sherlyn cannot be painted on a piece of paper as big as the earth. A strong force within me which keeps me alive filled with happiness and strength. I have been lifting weights and playing basketball to keep me strong. Hours and hours in the gym or the basketball. But the strength I have gain from them is nothing compared to the power of love I have for Sherlyn. There will be no test tough enough for my love. Only God can take this power away from me.
I'm a paranoid person. But I know that this power of love can help me get through it. All the dark times are just an illusion trying to weaken me. Have no fear, Sherlyn. Nothing has the power to kill my love for you. Whereas everything will die one day. My love for you will never perish. Have faith in me, Darling. This is only the beginning of my charactor transformation!!!!RUNWAY scheduled at 10:37 PM
Dearest Heavenly Father,
You answered my prayers and I'm so thankful for that. I couldn't ask for anything more. You have helped made my life whole again. Although it was very very painful during those dark hours, I have learn many things about life and how I should change my charactor. Thank You, Lord, for giving me the chance to change. And thank You, Lord, for people like CJ.
This I thank in Jesus's Name, Amen.
Right now, I'm sitting in front of the com typing this entry. I can't seem to get to sleep. I'm so tired but I just can't seem to fall asleep. I'm just so thankful for what has just happened. And I can't stop thinking of my new charactor. My new and better charactor. It will not be easy to change that fast, but I promise it will happen soon. A matter of hours. Something so crucial to my relationship with Sherlyn should be dealt with quick and fast.
I have realized so many mistakes of mine. So many people to apologise to. Although I may apologise, I am not feeling demoralized. I feel like a better person. It is making me better by reminding me not to commit the same old stupid and silly mistakes. I have expressed my apologies to Heena, WanChee, Marcus and there will be more to do the same. People like Jamie, Sachin, Juliana. I'm so sorry guys. You may not hear me now but I am whole heartedly sorry. Thank You for being such good friends to me and Sherlyn.
And to my special someone: Sherlyn.
Baby, I'm really very sorry. I know you don't like me to apologise. But I have to. I just feel so guilty. Tears are flowing once again, Darling. Please have faith in me that I can change. Because I can promise you that I'll change and you know that when I make a promise, you can count on it. I don't make promises I cannot keep. I just feel like breaking down in front of you. I'm just so glad we are back together again. Those dark hours were scary and I'm so scared that it will happen again. Darling, please promise me it will not happen again. It is too much for me to take. I felt so lousy that time. It is raining so heavily now. I really want to SMS you to tell you to be careful, but I'm so scared that you may think that I'm a nuisance but contacting you so much. Sweetheart, it is not true that love is nothing. Love is something. It is more than something. It is the most powerful force on the Earth. I will fall on my and kill me instantly just like how 60kg can fall on my chest and kill me. Love is about sacrifice, about understanding, about going through tough times together, about changing for the partner. I truely understand love now. And it is you that thought me the true meaning of love. Although you yourself told me that you don't know what lose exactly is, I know that you understand the through meaning of love. From today onwards, nobody will be able to challenge my knowledge of love. However, I will still be learning more about love and to offer more of it to you. I have learnt that Basketball isn't my everything. Only you and my family are my everything. I'm so sorry for putting you on the same level as Basketball. How silly of me. I'm been such an asshole. I'm really sorry.
And I'm sorry I have to say sorry a lot too....
My tears are stopping soon, so is my entry. I hope I can get some sleep. It will be hard though.
Sherlyn. I truely love you. Noone else needs to know that. Only You, me, Mom, Dad, Bro. We're a family. Love me too alright? I will prove myself to you. I will prove that I'm a capable guy. I can change for the better. You will not wait long, I promise! Because I am willing to do anything for you.RUNWAY scheduled at 4:10 PM
Heavenly Father, Sherlyn and I are facing a crisis right now. I need You, Oh Lord, to be beside her. Help her think carefully. Please help her not to make the wrong decision, Lord. She needs You to be beside her. Please, Lord.
Dear Lord, I need you beside me too. I'm losing a lot of control of myself. I need you to protect me from the silly things I am do. Because I can't bear to lose Sherlyn. The thought of losing her just makes me lose control. Father, I need Your help. Please help me. I am afraid I may disappoint my parents by doing the wrong things. I need You to guide me.
I know that I will wait for Sherlyn to make her decision. Because I love her so much. And I still can't stop thanking You, Oh Lord, for letting her exist in this word so that I can get to know her. But I need Your love too, Dear God. I need someone right now, and I need You, God.
Although Mother does not know what is happening, she is still giving me the support. I thank You, Lord, for such a caring Mother.
I have faith in You, Lord. I have faith that everything will turn out fine. Because I believe in You, Lord. And I also believe in Sherlyn. I put my whole heart into trusting her.
Heavenly Father, this I pray in Jesus's Name,
Amen...RUNWAY scheduled at 7:25 PM
