It's time I voice out my commitments. By voicing it out, I will have no excuse to run away from it. I will stick to my vow willingly and unconditionally. No one should ever take my vow lightly and should never get in my way. Any obstacles will simply be demolished by my determination and will. I am a realistic person. When I say I'll get things done, I will get things done. The journey may be a long one, but there's no way I'm turning back. When I fall, I pick myself up. This commitment is simply locked in my heart. Sherlyn, you are locked in my heart...
I, Gerald Tan Boon Keong, with sincerity and faith, commit into this relationship with Sam Sherlyn. Through thick and thin, I will hold Her hand tightly and never let Her fall. I shall let no distractions draw myself away from Her.
The days will be tough and gloomy. Obstacles lying along the way. I will keep Her under my wings and bulge through them. An effort to keep her unscratched remains. Just like the snail, it will be a long and slow path, but with determination and will, there is no way we're never going to reach our destination. I'm looking far. I'm fighting hard.
No temptation shall break my love for Her. I will uphold Her trust for me. It will take the entire world to darken my heart. She can be rest assured that I'm Her's forever and ever, hand in hand. I give myself to Sam Sherlyn.
Working hard to provide and care for Her starts now. Building a brighter future has never been more exciting. A peaceful, ecstatic and bright life is what I offer. I will love Her family and provide the best I can for them. Disregarding hard feelings, I will share my love with them. I will work hard for their love in return. It shall be the most appealing reward from them. Failure is not an option.
I will be the one with talents, brains, looks, strength, power, and a great personality. Pleasing everyone is no necessity, but those whom play a part in my life matter to me. I shall be the perfect one. Knowledge and wisdom shall be mine with all the hard work. Charm and attraction is on it's way.
Thinking like Her is my crucial task. I shall learn to understand her day by day as I keep my mind open. What is the use of great talent and skills if I cannot understand her needs and wants?
I shall be the top of the list, with no other competitor. Everybody is just miles away. It will only be me and my Sweetheart. I will sweat and bleed all the way to perfection. I won't take long, I promise.
Sincerely,
Gerald Tan
Baby, please be patient. I shall fulfill my vow in a matter of years. And I'll do it in a heartbeat!
Thank you for 5 months of love. I didn't ask for this much but yet you gave it to me. I can never be more grateful.
I love you, Sweetheart. I dare say it a million times. You mean too much to me. I'm so sorry for some things in the past. I had a hard time. I'm learning day by day.
Please be by my side. I need your love and care. I'm stuck with you. Darling, when I say I cry sometimes at night, my tears are filled with joy as I wonder how I got myself into this. I wonder how I got someone like you to love and be loved in return. It's getting more realistic towards our future everyday. The impossible seems like nothing each day. We're on the right track, Baby.
I freakin's love you like crazy. I just feel like shouting to the world, "SAM SHERLYN IS WITH ME!!"
I want everybody to know about my commitment and my joy. I don't care whether they like it or not, I'm happy. If they can't stand seeing us be happy, f*** them. If they want to make life hard for us, then f*** off. I have no time for these people, for my life is you, you and you.
You're amazing...
Baby brought me for seafood today. Black pepper crabs, Cereal prawns and frog legs. Had a great time eating that I couldn't find time to talk! Haha. Thanks for the introduction, Dear. I really enjoyed myself. The sugarcane wasn't enough! First time I ate dinner without rice I think. Lol! Let's go there on Mother's day shall we? My mom has agreed to come along! Baby, 5 months already. I'm glad that it lasted this long. Let's work harder together to spice up the relationship and reach closer to our goals. I love you, Sweetheart. Muackx!
Can't believe it. 5 months already. It does seem like 5 years sometimes. So many ups and downs. Well, whatever the hastle may be, it was all worth while.
Coached informed me last night that I didn't have to go for the 3 on 3 this morning. I was so relieved. At least I'll get to sleep for a while more. Thank God. So I woke up at about 10.45am and Jiaying reached my place shortly after that. So I got ready and we made our way to pick Sherlyn and Jasmine up from the 7-11 at West Coast.
We got there a little early so we had to wait for the photographers and makeup artist to arrive. While waiting, we had some drinks. I drank my favourite Heinieken. After a while the makeup artist arrived. We were brought over to a group of 3 girls. They looked very bitchy to me. Raised an eyebrow at them as they were staring at us from head to toe. Never seen babes and a hunk before? Watched as the girls had their makeup then it was my turn. Ok, it was weird. I had my eyebrows trimmed. I think I look better now. Had some powder put on. My face was flawless for a little while before I started perspiring.
The shoot start at about 3pm. A guy named Alex shot me first. Had a lot of interesting poses. By the trees and holding a coconut. Holding a coconut? Yea, it was weird. But I think it'll look cool on the print out. We then took some by the rocks.
We decided to take a few couple and group shots after that. It was very fun.
Then God decided that it should rain. So we were stuck in the shelter for quite a while and had some pervert trying to be funny with Baby. And he wanted to kiss me. I wonder what's wrong with him.
The rained stopped and we started shooting again. Carrying Baby in my arms and even on my shoulders. It was cool. Can't wait to see the pictures man!
So happy that my best friend and girlfriend had a photoshoot with me.
But Darling fell and almost disfigured her face. I'm so glad I caught her in time. She was climbing the rocks and she slipped due to the algae. My face turned pale. I was so scared and guilty at the same time. Shouldn't have suggested climbing the rocks. What if I didnt catch her in time? I started tearing when I caught her in my arms. Not much tears but enough to make my eyes well up. Hurt to see blood on Baby's ankle and legs. Couldn't stop asking her if she was ok. Was shivering too. Just feel so damn guilty... I'm so sorry Baby, I didn't take good care of you... I should have climbed the rocks first... I should have taken a closer look.. If I fell, it would be a different case already. I'm a guy. Baby's a girl. How can I such things happen to her....?
Carried Baby to the shelters after that and we all made our way out of Sentosa to meet Alfian for dinner.
It was a fun day. But it was tiring too. Although sometimes I feel uncomfortable with Darling exposing herself to cameras in her Bikini, I'm glad she enjoyed herself. Maybe it's because I don't trust the photographers that's why I feel uncomfortable. But seeing Baby happy brings a smile to my face.
I love you, Sweetheart. I'm sorry for being so worked up the pass few days. I guess I wasn't able to handle my stress. I'm still not capable enough. The main reason I'm so stressed up is because I'm afraid that we can't see each other often anymore. I'll miss you, Baby, and it hurts when we're apart and I feel insecure too.
I'll learn to handle my stress more efficiently, Baby. I'm sorry....
Started the day by going for practical lessons. The guy was nice. At least he wasn't one of those fierce instructors, like Ed in the driving simulater game. We talked about things in general before going to the lessons. He taught some pretty simple stuff like how to check the car and adjust the mirrors and seats. Then we got to the driving. I actually took the wheel. Was so bleedy excited man! So I started by getting the car the move and soon after, I was driving round the circuit for about 12 times! It was so easy. But I was only allowed the second gear. So I stepped the accelorator deeper while in first gear to make the VVVRRRROOOMMM sound. And once you change to the second gear, the feeling is so cool! 100 minutes seemed to pass so quickly.
Basketball training didn't start well. Coach was discussing plays and I realized that I had nothing set for me. Was disappointed, and pissed off too. Went through so much trouble and now this? Hello! I'm the biggest and bravest in the team....
After training, we played 5 on 5 with the adults.. again. Was expecting a lost. I had no sleep, no food, no energy. So I though I would just give up there. But things were picking up. The ball got into my hands more towards the end. We chased the lead from 12-19 to a 20-19 score. I scored 8 points already, stole a few balls and made a few spectacular shots. Then it was 20-19, Vincent got the ball and drove it into my hands. Coach was defending me and so was Vincent's brother. I gave coach a spin move and he got out of the way but Vincent's bro was there. I gave him my shoulder and jumped with my back facing the basket. Managed to twist fast enough to have a clear view of the basket and I released the shot. It went in! The adult team praised me for my courage. I hope this will make coach change his mind about making be only the safety man. Just stand there do nothing. Lame ass.
Thank you, basketball, for being there when I'm down and stressed. Sometimes I see that you're not even a stress factor to me. You release the tension too.
It then started raining. Great! Means that we can leave early and I can meet Baby soon! So happy man! So I ignored the rain and ran to the MRT station. I was drenched...
It's been awhile since I've blogged the happenings around my life. Not a lot to say though. Only a few interesting things.
To my friend, basketball...
Why cannot I control my hate towards others? Why do I feel that it's childish and yet I do it? Why did I retaliate against someone childish? "Yucks man!" I'm starting to regret these words that spilled out of my mouth today. I didn't realize that one childish act will lead to another. What's done been done. How can I ever change it? I'm gonna have to curb it. I haven't been controlling my mouth recently before opening it.
I allowed my foolishness and my immaturity to take over me. It completely took over my thoughts and my intentions. Aren't I the versatile one? Aren't I the one whom can ignore the effects of anger?
You are 58.73% jealous!For this test, the average jealousy percentage is 35.54%.516374 people have taken this test to date.
Chalet
Left house early to meet Darling and made our way to Pasir Ris. Had breakfast at Cavana and took the shuttle bus down. Got the room and headed for the pool. I realized that I couldn't float on water. How embarrassing.
Jamie and the rest arrived shortly after and of course that loy was unhappy about my presence. I wonder what's his problem. Baby and I got out of the pool and when over to Jamie's chalet after washing up. Socialized around. Jamie is having such a hard time with the class. Many cheapos in her class. Here she is trying so hard to bond the class and there they are being cheapos and people who simply can't make up their minds.
Sijie, CK, Winston joined us for a BBQ and some chocolate. It was such fun having a BBQ with my ex-schoolmates. Sijie has been in the same school as I am from kindergarten till secondary school. Stupid asshole kicked me in the stomach in K1. I will never forget that.
Gave Shachin and Karwei a new hairdo. I hope they liked it.
It was then time to lights out.
Checked out the next day and brought Karwei for a hair cut. In my honest opinion, he looked good. He has got what it takes to be a hunk. Tall and had a god complexion. If only he could sleep early and go to the gym. And wear some contact lenses too.
Baby and I then headed home to have a rest. We were so sleepy...
I then poured my feelings out...
Baby and I went to a quiet place and I started telling her how I felt about somethings. My insecurities were getting deeper day by day. Therefore, I had no other choice to tell her how I feel. It's true that we have to look forward and forget the past. But sometimes, history do haunt us. At the back of my head, the incident is still a coloured picture. From the exact moment I was in the gym risking my life while training due to unstable feelings to the moment I read Baby's blog. It is still clear in my mind. I'm afraid of dejavu. I don't want to be hurt again. I admit I'm a mentally weak person. If history were to repeat itself, how can I ever recover from it? There's no turning back now. I'm already so deeply in love.
Baby, I need time to recover from what happened. It is something too drastic for me to take. I've been played before and I had the same feeling when ZH took place. I hope you understand and be patient with me.
Please do not blame me for feeling ignored at times. I'm one who requires attention, love, care and concern. I do have the need to be pampered. There are times I don't feel loved. The pressure and stress and I'm going through tempts me for some love and care. Perhaps my stress is self inflicted. Sometimes I don't wish to open my mouth because I don't want to be someone with high expectations. Sometimes, I just feel like I need to be treated special. I do get tired too.
Please do not take that as blaming you because that is of no intention of mine. I just had to express my feelings in a form of words.
I'm holding on tight and walking that path. The snail now means so much to me. A symbol of determination. The sight of that creature motivates me to be strong everyday. The path is long and winding. It will be a tough walk. But I will brave through it. Just like the little snail does every single day. I'm never going to give up on you, Baby. Please do not give up on me...
A Hectic Schedule
The timetable is out. I couldn't stop cursing and swearing till today. Time with Baby will be shortened. I guess there's no more playing. Gotta concentrate on my work.
Since Baby's daddy is pissed with me for some apparent reason due to a bitch's bark, I've got to start working hard in every way to get back into his good books. The saying goes, once your impression is bad, it will take forever to correct it. And for a person like Baby's dad, I guess I'm screwed to a certain point. Studies, driving, basketball, piano, I've gotta do well in everything. I hope that would get his recognition. God, please grant me strength and wisdom...
It's gonna be hard to find time for gym and basketball. I guess I'll have to make some sacrifices whether I like it or not. Only a few months of work. I can always get back to my hobbies after the exams. Just hope that my body won't shrink a lot and my skills don't go down the drain.RUNWAY scheduled at 12:14 AM
Hey pal! This is going to be a new relationship for the both of us. I feel that I have to write this to express my feelings for you.
You are just a piece of leather and thread bloated with 9 pounds of air. I took you as a soulmate, my best friend, my love. I literally spoke to you. Fell into tears before you. We could not be seperated. There was this strong bond between the two of us. Thirteen years of such obsession with you.
Let's share some memories shall we?
Remember the time I wanted to quit school and spend the rest of my life with you? Imagine if I would have done that. Lol! My parents would have already disowned me. Silly decision I would have made. And that one time I trained so hard because I wanted to dunk? I would get so demoralized when I couldn't reach the rim or when I sprain my ankle. I cried and cried. Haha. Silly eh? And those many times I would break a girl's heart because I loved you more? HAHA! That was the silliest. Oh well, they were lousy girls anyway. I'm glad you were there. LOL! Remember the times I lost in tournaments? Wow, I was depressed. Don't wanna talk about that. Sucky experience. Haha!
Yeap, and there's more! haha!
Those were the moments. Did you realize one thing? I was actually exchanging feelings with you! And you're a non-living thing. Stupid me. But it's not like I expected a response from you...
I wanna thank you for some stuff.
Thank you for being there when my days were gloomy. I had no one to turn to but you. When I felt depressed or sad, I would simply go shoot some ball and I feel better instantly.
Thank you for being such a great companion. My days were lonely before I met my special someone. You were there to kill time for me and keep the smile on my face.
Thank you for teaching me discipline and patience. All that training made me a humble person and enabled me to take all sorts of physical torture. I'm a stronger person in both body and soul. All thanks to you.
Basketball, I know that we've got so much memories, be it sweet or unpleasant, together. But I feel it's time I grew up. You're no longer an obsession to me. You're no longer my top priority. You're just a hobby and passion to me now. I'm not going to regret my change in mindset. I believe it will be benefial to me. Please understand.
I'm still going to make it a point to train hard and play hard. I'm still going to try my best to win.
Basketball, thank you for the memories. You're still part of me no matter what.
Sincerely,
Gerald Tan.
PS: I'm still gonna play ball till I die. No way I'm giving you up totally.RUNWAY scheduled at 1:01 AM
I guess I have to be a man sometimes. When someone wants to be a bitch, I'll have to be mature and take the first step. I'll show the bitch who I really am, shut her fucking mouth up. I'm gonna stop being a kid. Already 18 and I'm still going around making childish comments like "Yucks Man!" This is unacceptable. The next time I see that bitch, I talk to her like a man. I'll make sure her jaw drops to the ground. I'll make her wonder how I can be a nice person. And maybe, JUST maybe, she'll shut her crap.
It's a weird world out there. People hate you for no apparent reason. Just like matthias loy. I do hate people for no apparent reason too. Weird feeling. It's hard to not get pissed off when this happens to you and your life is made difficult. Why, God? Why do such things exist? Please help me take it in a positive way. I'm having so much trouble with it as I just can't seem to take it in a way that I won't get pissed off!
I'm learning day by day, I don't wish to stop growing up. My immaturity is introducing more agony to my daily life. I guess 18 isn't a big deal.
I can't wait to grow up....RUNWAY scheduled at 12:29 AM
I have given in to the evils of unhappiness. My mouth uttered the impossible, phrases I would have never used in my lifetime.
I have caused her to break her promise to me. I have caused her to use the phrases which I hated most. I just affected her. It was all my pettiness that got over me.
I didn't realize the shit you went through. I was ignorant of that. Maybe I am an insensitive person. Perhaps I'm not the perfect one. I'm still the one with many flaws. I tried so hard to change them.
Please don't hate me. I'm so sorry. I've realized my mistake. I may be 18. But I'm still childish at times. Please give me a chance to grow up.RUNWAY scheduled at 12:41 AM
This percentage means that :
•You exhibit many jealous traits.
•You are prone to over-react.
•Although your jealousy shouldn't prove to be a real problem, you should work on controlling it more.
•Things aren't often as bad as you think.
http://tests.student.com/jealousytest.php
Oh shit, I'm a jealous asshole..RUNWAY scheduled at 10:27 PM
