Dearest Heavenly Father,
You answered my prayers and I'm so thankful for that. I couldn't ask for anything more. You have helped made my life whole again. Although it was very very painful during those dark hours, I have learn many things about life and how I should change my charactor. Thank You, Lord, for giving me the chance to change. And thank You, Lord, for people like CJ.
This I thank in Jesus's Name, Amen.
Right now, I'm sitting in front of the com typing this entry. I can't seem to get to sleep. I'm so tired but I just can't seem to fall asleep. I'm just so thankful for what has just happened. And I can't stop thinking of my new charactor. My new and better charactor. It will not be easy to change that fast, but I promise it will happen soon. A matter of hours. Something so crucial to my relationship with Sherlyn should be dealt with quick and fast.
I have realized so many mistakes of mine. So many people to apologise to. Although I may apologise, I am not feeling demoralized. I feel like a better person. It is making me better by reminding me not to commit the same old stupid and silly mistakes. I have expressed my apologies to Heena, WanChee, Marcus and there will be more to do the same. People like Jamie, Sachin, Juliana. I'm so sorry guys. You may not hear me now but I am whole heartedly sorry. Thank You for being such good friends to me and Sherlyn.
And to my special someone: Sherlyn.
Baby, I'm really very sorry. I know you don't like me to apologise. But I have to. I just feel so guilty. Tears are flowing once again, Darling. Please have faith in me that I can change. Because I can promise you that I'll change and you know that when I make a promise, you can count on it. I don't make promises I cannot keep. I just feel like breaking down in front of you. I'm just so glad we are back together again. Those dark hours were scary and I'm so scared that it will happen again. Darling, please promise me it will not happen again. It is too much for me to take. I felt so lousy that time. It is raining so heavily now. I really want to SMS you to tell you to be careful, but I'm so scared that you may think that I'm a nuisance but contacting you so much. Sweetheart, it is not true that love is nothing. Love is something. It is more than something. It is the most powerful force on the Earth. I will fall on my and kill me instantly just like how 60kg can fall on my chest and kill me. Love is about sacrifice, about understanding, about going through tough times together, about changing for the partner. I truely understand love now. And it is you that thought me the true meaning of love. Although you yourself told me that you don't know what lose exactly is, I know that you understand the through meaning of love. From today onwards, nobody will be able to challenge my knowledge of love. However, I will still be learning more about love and to offer more of it to you. I have learnt that Basketball isn't my everything. Only you and my family are my everything. I'm so sorry for putting you on the same level as Basketball. How silly of me. I'm been such an asshole. I'm really sorry.
And I'm sorry I have to say sorry a lot too....
My tears are stopping soon, so is my entry. I hope I can get some sleep. It will be hard though.
Sherlyn. I truely love you. Noone else needs to know that. Only You, me, Mom, Dad, Bro. We're a family. Love me too alright? I will prove myself to you. I will prove that I'm a capable guy. I can change for the better. You will not wait long, I promise! Because I am willing to do anything for you.
