It's been awhile since I've blogged the happenings around my life. Not a lot to say though. Only a few interesting things.
Chalet
Left house early to meet Darling and made our way to Pasir Ris. Had breakfast at Cavana and took the shuttle bus down. Got the room and headed for the pool. I realized that I couldn't float on water. How embarrassing.
Jamie and the rest arrived shortly after and of course that loy was unhappy about my presence. I wonder what's his problem. Baby and I got out of the pool and when over to Jamie's chalet after washing up. Socialized around. Jamie is having such a hard time with the class. Many cheapos in her class. Here she is trying so hard to bond the class and there they are being cheapos and people who simply can't make up their minds.
Sijie, CK, Winston joined us for a BBQ and some chocolate. It was such fun having a BBQ with my ex-schoolmates. Sijie has been in the same school as I am from kindergarten till secondary school. Stupid asshole kicked me in the stomach in K1. I will never forget that.
Gave Shachin and Karwei a new hairdo. I hope they liked it.
It was then time to lights out.
Checked out the next day and brought Karwei for a hair cut. In my honest opinion, he looked good. He has got what it takes to be a hunk. Tall and had a god complexion. If only he could sleep early and go to the gym. And wear some contact lenses too.
Baby and I then headed home to have a rest. We were so sleepy...
I then poured my feelings out...
Baby and I went to a quiet place and I started telling her how I felt about somethings. My insecurities were getting deeper day by day. Therefore, I had no other choice to tell her how I feel. It's true that we have to look forward and forget the past. But sometimes, history do haunt us. At the back of my head, the incident is still a coloured picture. From the exact moment I was in the gym risking my life while training due to unstable feelings to the moment I read Baby's blog. It is still clear in my mind. I'm afraid of dejavu. I don't want to be hurt again. I admit I'm a mentally weak person. If history were to repeat itself, how can I ever recover from it? There's no turning back now. I'm already so deeply in love.
Baby, I need time to recover from what happened. It is something too drastic for me to take. I've been played before and I had the same feeling when ZH took place. I hope you understand and be patient with me.
Please do not blame me for feeling ignored at times. I'm one who requires attention, love, care and concern. I do have the need to be pampered. There are times I don't feel loved. The pressure and stress and I'm going through tempts me for some love and care. Perhaps my stress is self inflicted. Sometimes I don't wish to open my mouth because I don't want to be someone with high expectations. Sometimes, I just feel like I need to be treated special. I do get tired too.
Please do not take that as blaming you because that is of no intention of mine. I just had to express my feelings in a form of words.
I'm holding on tight and walking that path. The snail now means so much to me. A symbol of determination. The sight of that creature motivates me to be strong everyday. The path is long and winding. It will be a tough walk. But I will brave through it. Just like the little snail does every single day. I'm never going to give up on you, Baby. Please do not give up on me...
A Hectic Schedule
The timetable is out. I couldn't stop cursing and swearing till today. Time with Baby will be shortened. I guess there's no more playing. Gotta concentrate on my work.
Since Baby's daddy is pissed with me for some apparent reason due to a bitch's bark, I've got to start working hard in every way to get back into his good books. The saying goes, once your impression is bad, it will take forever to correct it. And for a person like Baby's dad, I guess I'm screwed to a certain point. Studies, driving, basketball, piano, I've gotta do well in everything. I hope that would get his recognition. God, please grant me strength and wisdom...
It's gonna be hard to find time for gym and basketball. I guess I'll have to make some sacrifices whether I like it or not. Only a few months of work. I can always get back to my hobbies after the exams. Just hope that my body won't shrink a lot and my skills don't go down the drain.
